Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
