Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
