Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
