Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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