You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
