dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
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