47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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