whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
