she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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