Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
