Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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