and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
