you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
