I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize
