Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
