Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
