Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
You're like the curious george of whores
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
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