the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
