I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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