if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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