so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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