everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
