You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
