So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize