i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
