so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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