You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
