Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Randomize
