There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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