good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Randomize
