plz talk dirty to me
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
