i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
