Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
