I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
