You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
