don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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