it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Randomize
