toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
