He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
