the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
