i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize