i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
