But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
