The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
