tell your sister to shave her snatch
she looked like the before picture.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
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