thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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