Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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