just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
