You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
