She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Randomize
