Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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