She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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