accomplished twins. life is a go
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
