Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Randomize
