I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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