So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
