Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Randomize
