Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
