If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Randomize
