it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
