Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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