if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
