i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
