So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
